Wei Wu Wei

Why are you unhappy?

Because 99.9 per cent

Of everything you think,

And of everything you do,

Is for yourself —

And there isn't one.

— Ask The Awakened

the Door

I am standing in front of the imaginary door. This door consoles me when I think that I can not go on anymore...with whatever "terrible" things that happen to me...

On my side of the door there is me and passions that eat me up alive sometimes, there is work and everyday routine, that drives me crazy sometimes - making me just plain happy other times.

Behind the door is the cessation, the end of what I think bothers me. There is calm of no thinking and no deciding. There is turbulence of my inner world, there is torment of having opened that door and entering, of knowing that I opened it too soon.

On the door there is a magical screen. I see happenings in the world around me, the happy and the sad events. I see other people, animals, plants going about their daily, hourly lives. Since it is the magical screen, I don't have to hear, feel or smell what I see. I can taste, though, taste life as it is - as bitter and as spicy, sour taste of grief, sweet of skies and cold of rushing rivers.

Watching life as it happens this moment or thinking about what I just saw that already changed for the next thing... Watching and tasting all that arouses a powerful urge in me - to stay on this side and turn around and look for those that I might help if only a little bit.

I know there are many doors like that in the world. As many as there are people.

from Henry Miller

"everybody becomes a healer the moment he forgets about himself"

to be happy

I can accept and tolerate anybody. I can't accept myself.

My student told me this today during a quiet moment before class. She brought me her favourite book to read, showed me a self-made book of her poems and ....she talked to me.

I can't accept myself.

Accepting myself would mean tolerating my beliefs, looks, actions... Who creates all those?
My looks are given to me at birth, there is little I can do to change them besides staying "in shape"...
My beliefs develop as I grow in my lifetime..
My actions result from my choices and bring consequences, immediate or long term...

My student is in pain because she can not accept herself.

I thought that a person who needs reassurance in such matters would likely believe someone he or she trusts as one trusts a Teacher. Connecting to my student as a teacher would give me a tremendously rare chance to truly relieve her suffering.

It is important for some of us to know that we are OK.
Some of us developed an idea that it is not important whether or not one is OK, because being good means being yourself in the only way that it is possible to be oneself: to be born and grow absorbing beliefs and choosing actions.

Acceptance without exception.

"To accept others and not to accept oneself" is not so different from "to accept oneself and not to accept others".

A person knowing, believing that one is same as others and others are same as one,
will truly accept others as oneself and oneself as others.

As a teacher I need to point out to my student that we are all basically the same.

I will start from this.

I will start tomorrow.
.

Helping others and ourselves is a lighthouse.

No matter how dark the depression, there is a candle that lights the way out.
This candle, or lantern, shows us the way to go. It takes us along the path step by step.

Seeing other people's pain at a time when we are in pain ourselves is crucial to overcoming our own tough times. It is tempting to say, that since each moment of our life is unique, we can only pay undivided attention to one thing at a time, so it's up to us, whether we decide to see someone else's pain or our own.

It seems though that in dealing with one's own depression two aspects need to be attended to.
First one is feeling our own pain. Feeling this pain to the fullest, acknowledging it, respecting it.
I tell myself at times like these: "So that's how it feels."
Second one is opening our eyes to pain of others. Is it someone in my family, my neighbourhood? Is it a homeless person in a city, or someone starving in Darfur?

Feeling own pain helps us move towards healing.
Seeing other's pain hopefully moves us to feel compassion and to help them.
Helping others puts our own pain out of the spotlight. This, in turn helps us work on the "solution" of our problems.

When going gets tough, why not look around for those who have it tougher?

Helping others and ourselves is a lighthouse for travelers on depression's dark roads.

stand up comedian ?

These are all synonyms : clown, joker, comedian, fool, jester, entertainer, slapstick comedian, comic, mess about, wit, buffoon, artiste, humorist...

Those who identify with one of these, tell me - which one of these are you?

(just a joke, folks)

Always wanted to figure out how do clowns, comedians etc manage to be happy all the time?

Are they really, really happy and thus make all around laugh?

Are they laughing because they can't help it, whether or not they are happy?

Did their parents want them to become jesters, so here they are?

My feeling is, that clowns carry the world on their shoulders, making us laugh in our happy and not so happy moments, helping us see the way through life laughing :)

Hope and Fear

We hope, we hope, we hope.
We hope when we rise
We hope when we shower
And when we work
We hope when we party,
We hope when we meet,
on vacation, in a dream
We hope while raising kids
We hope looking in a mirror
We hope mindfully
We hope habitually, not realizing it.

We fear the day will not unfold as we'd like
We fear our expectations at work will not materialize
We fear the party will not go as we planned
We fear a good relationship will not last forever
and a bad one will be painful to end
We fear aging and loneliness
We fear consciously
We fear subconsciously
We fear, we fear, we fear

Imagine living beyond hope and fear that comes with it.

Flowing with what happens.

Having wishes

while staying free of expectations.

Planning future

without getting uptight about the outcome.

Acting out of generosity

rather then desire of reward.

Can we give it a try?